Rollins College- Enough failure to go around.

I recently came across and read multiple articles about a young man, Marshall Polston, who publicly went out against a Muslim professor, Fareeq Zufari. Per Mr. Polston, he claims that he was unfairly targeted and discriminated against for disagreeing with Professor Zufari publicly in her class and thus received a poor grad. Professor Zufari states he was harassing, antagonistic and threatening which resulted in her filing a stalking order against him.

http://m.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/mar/28/rollins-college-suspends-student-who-challenged-mu/

There is probably some truth on both sides but I would like to address what I think is the Christian and Muslim thinking that each is being discriminated against by the other. There is a time and place for discussion of differences. There is time and place for conflict resolution but neither will ever be accomplished with the media involved. Is it no surprise to anyone that the conflict is seen through the glasses by the political and ideological glasses that each of the reporters and readers wear in general? I think the saddest part in this whole conflict is simply this, both parties look foolish, childish and not a little intolerant but totally lacking in empathy and understanding for anyone except themselves.

I struggle to understand how any person who has a faith base can use their behavior and language in such an awful way to prove the intolerance of another person. I read the letter by Mr. Polston and while he doesn’t in any way threaten Prof. Zufari, his accusations, language and personal attacks go way beyond the situation. He claims to have immersed himself in the Muslim culture, yet he does everything contrary to showing an understanding. A white, aggressive male, stating a litany of personal and inappropriate attacks shows nothing but a brattish behavior that would intimidate not just this Muslim woman but any woman. He is bullying and attacking way beyond the issue. If he, in any way, understood this culture, he would have understood that this is not the way to resolve conflict.

On the other hand, Professor Zufari, went way beyond reason by claiming she was being threatened. While I could see how she got to that conclusion, I cannot justify her actions of falsely saying he was by her classroom. She used the hysteria of the moment to escalate her students by bringing them in to the conflict. As I read some of the comments about her from former students who talk about her involvement in their personal lives, it is apparent she has some boundary issues with students. One person stated in the comments that their falling out was over Prof. Zufari trying to help her when she didn’t want the help. If I had to guess, the aggressiveness of Mr. Polston in his verbal attacks both in the classroom and in his letter set up the dynamic that she felt threatened but that is not just a white privilege issue but an issue of children growing up in the 90’s in general.

There is lack of empathy and understanding in this generation for the plight of anyone but themselves. Personally, I think that has occurred as we moved from true competitive sports to participation trophies but that is for another blog. Most kids that I know form the 90’s who are well rounded and emotionally healthy have learned that there is failure in life and that they don’t always win. Failure builds character and my guess is Mr. Polston has never learned that lesson in life and feels he is entitled. As I said this isn’t just an issue for white privileged males like so many people have stated but a generational issue. Ask any employer who they think are great employees and who isn’t. That will be a clue.

The school itself has some fault. Instead of mediating and trying to resolve the issue, they first spoke to Mr. Polston following the email from the professor. Instead of bringing them together to see what the real issue was they tried to use their academic standards. The problem with that approach is that this was a human conflict and like all conflicts there must be a resolution that involves both parties. The conflict simply went underground when they “spoke to Mr. Polson and his behavior was better for a few weeks.” That literally set the stage for the next act in this play when the grade wasn’t what was expected. Did no one think that was going to happen? What a lack of forethought. Anyone who knows the dynamic of human conflict knows that the best way to resolve future conflict is to present an option of what to do when the next issue arises.

Unfortunately, what I see is this. It makes both look like babies and the college look foolish in how it handled the conflict. My guess is they in general all are nice folks who lost sight of the real issue. Two divergent faith opinions that don’t agree. Each having the idea they are being discriminated by the other. No surprise in this at all. The only surprise is how it got played out in the media and public light.

As a Christian, I am appalled at the behavior of Mr. Polston. He does an injustice to what I believe the teachings of Christ are all about. While I believe, we should never be a doormat to others, there is way to deal with issues and way not to deal with issues. Calling names and acting like a spoiled brat with threats that “I will go the media” shows a lack of confidence in himself and a desire to reach outside of his own resources to resolve the issue. As an educator, yes I have taught at the college level, I am appalled by Professor Zufari, who lacked the same level of self-determination and from what I can see used the college administration and the legal system to set limits with someone rather than seek respect from that young man. Power given is not true power. Respect earned results in personal power.

Erwin Lutzer, in his book the Hitler Cross wrote in 1998, “America is an angry nation- angry because of the emotional distress caused by the breakup of the home, angry because of crime; angry because of a perceived betrayal by politicians, angry also because each side in the culture wars sees the other as the enemy of all that America should stand for. We need to heal rather than hurt; we need to unite rather than divide. We have to model reconciliation in our churches so that the world will see what a redeemed community looks like. We must defend the gospel, though not ourselves, No retaliation, no threats, no self-pity. Just endurance, patience and love.”

Mr. Polston and Professor Zufari, I pray you both have learned from this rather than take the stance, “I won” because no one won in this public display.

Jim

Aka/Preach